Teaching our Teenagers to Lie (Al Mohler)
Leaders, Parents, Students No Comments »Al Mohler (President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville) shares this commentary on some research from Po Bonsen of New York magazine. The topic: teaching our teenagers to lie.
Excerpt:
When adults are asked to keep diaries of their own lies, they admit to about one lie per every five social interactions, which works out to one per day, on average. The vast majority of these lies are white lies, lies to protect yourself or others, like telling the guy at work who brought in his wife’s muffins that they taste great or saying, “Of course this is my natural hair color.”
Encouraged to tell so many white lies and hearing so many others, children gradually get comfortable with being disingenuous. Insincerity becomes, literally, a daily occurrence. They learn that honesty only creates conflict, and dishonesty is an easy way to avoid conflict. And while they don’t confuse white-lie situations with lying to cover their misdeeds, they bring this emotional groundwork from one circumstance to the other. It becomes easier, psychologically, to lie to a parent. So if the parent says, “Where did you get these Pokémon cards?! I told you, you’re not allowed to waste your allowance on Pokémon cards!” this may feel to the child very much like a white-lie scenario–he can make his father feel better by telling him the cards were extras from a friend.
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Christian parents should consider this analysis with care. Do we, along with other parents, effectively teach our children to lie? Have we traded off permissiveness for getting teenagers to tell the truth? Would we rather not know, if knowing means putting children and teens into situations in which they might lie?
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Is honesty “on the ropes” at your house?
Read the full article here.
--Kenny W
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